SALSA

This post will certainly not be long as some of my previous (I hope:). Well, I just wanted to share a little bit of my impressions about salsa dance, how do I feel about it, why do I like it so much, ever since I found it.

First of... gotta say, I started attending this salsa class when I felt really down like an year ago. The previous summer has been one of the worst in my life. Depression had taken control over me and I just couldn't get out of this sad condition... I tried anything, but with no actual result or influence, I saw no light in the tunnel whatsoever. Seeking help by going to a shrink didn't help much, meeting friends, going places too... There were many reasons why did I feel this bad and some of them are too private to share them in here. I must say- I cried every singe day, like many times each day for many, many months... I was so desperate, melancholic & not happy. Anyway at first, I wasn't even sure about this salsa class, I just knew I have to do something, in order to escape the reality I lived in, even for a while. There was much confusion in my head, I tried going to yoga too and all kinds of bullshit to experiment my eventual mental recover. Then I read this beautiful book "What are you afraid of?" from Lavinia Plonka, which helped a little to understand my fears and hopes. Books generally helped me understanding myself a little better... I love books, I read somewhere that booklovers never go to bed alone, which is true to some extend. Nothing could actually substitude the real contact though- a real person, real feelings... So, no matter of my insecurities, I just didn't give up on salsa, even though as I said- was not sure about it.

My reasons differ and there is variaty of them in my head. I was and I am still to certain extend so strange, when it comes to be physically touched by unknown people, however salsa is a social dance.... Confrontation was a big pain and pressure to me. Before I started attending this class, everytime I had to use public transportation, I got some panic conditions when stragers touched my hand or arm, if the bus for exaple was packed... Well, it is hard to explain to those who haven't experienced that or just feel differently. My panic is Huge, when it comes to strangers... Also, I had issues and insecurities about the way I move, how would I look like moving my hips, will I look rediculous, I was just ashamed to be doing some lady style moves. Salsa sort of helped with this too, which is great.  Same is with socialising in general. I have always considered myself as a harmless sociopath:), who is easily hurt and too damn sensitive (very much so) :(:(, and that's why many times I prefered isolation from others...... As I said salsa is a social dance and by practising it, I was unconsciously practising TRUST in people, socializing with them and leting them close to me.

And at least but not last, I felt very distant from this kind of music. I have always loved alternative rock, american country music and latino style was all new to me, so weird and even funny. With the time passing by, I started discovering more and more beauty in the songs (that now I assume them as incredibly romantic in a mild old fashion way:) and respectively in salsa... I cannot even describe the magic in this dance. You have to really feel it with your heart, no matter if you are just observer or participant in the dance. Either way, to me it is a magic that people share with their hearts, when they dance. It's like you have limitted time to accept somebody that could be a complete stranger and that doesn't matter at all, because within 10 minutes you share something so special in between (well usually). You are close, distance almost doesn't matter, you are open, you have no prejustices, you embrace, you  accept, you love, you listen, you follow, you enjoy your partner, yourself, life... You forget and put all the troubles behind. Those special moments are so magical and so beautiful, to be relaxed and at the same time feel very excited and high, entering in a different better world, where people smile at each other, don't judge and have positive attitude towards each other. It is a mutual dance, a partner dance and a mutual magic that people do. I like that. Nothing against the solo artists, but the mutual dance to me is matchless. Exactly because of the fact that two people create a new world for some time, both persons energies bond together into a greater, higher force. Also the influence and passion are much greater... I can say more, but won't matter. And mainly, yes I started to understand and enoy this dance and latin music too, that is all about love- many times in a romantic abit old fashioned way, that I emrace with all of my heart.

As any other thing in this world, probably this one has some negative sides too. Either way, I am not up to sharing them right now and right here. If for whatever reason I feel disapointed with the salsa, I may change my post or point of view. But currently, that's the way it goes...♥

How to become a successful financial director

Unlike what you think and what the title says, I would not share specific "tips and tricks" for becomming a succesful financial leader or a director. Also my intention is not sharing a list of requirements and special skills, educational trainings you need to attend or achieve, rather than telling you a funny and quite sad story about how things work out to be successful in my country- Bulgaria. There is a large and "serious" organization, which is a leader at the financial services and it is a famous investment advisor. Also the company offers Proffesional gateway for traders; cosulting of the capital markets; asset management; attracting of money assets; loans; property investment consultation; ivestment brokerage services and much more. So far so good, however you need to meet Ms. financial director:) (and the boss'lover of course)- Twenty something years old, stupid, uneducated, mean, valey girl who is not simply a gold digger but pretends to be more and demonstrate superior pride. She is anorexic, but to most average bulgarian men, that is the stereotype for beauty over here, they find her attractive. Of course to get to that level and job position she had to become a slave to the big boss, not only a lover, but the proper word is slave. With no intention, I know many stories from a friend of hers and I also had to negotiate with her that my job required:( It wasn't pleasant at all. I feel so sorry for this woman and for Mr.V. and for our society...I am so sorry to be this critic, I rarely attack people and rarely have such a drastic oppinion... I cannot hide my indignation, that's why I post it in here. You would probably say: Why do you even bother, why does this matter to you? It is just indignation that I cannot hide and I need to share. Also, I do care about the thins I will post below:

I know all around the world there are such things and people, but I assume in my country it is just everywhere. Young people are so unmotivated to study and work in order to acheive their dreams, to be more, because in most cases you cannot do this in Bulgaria and that hold us back..., with no progress. Things work the other way around. Whatever you studied, no matter how hard you try, there is always something like that story to drop your intentions down. The reality is bitter, amoral and there is too much Godlessness in my country. People do not generally believe in God and in good things, most people are really desperate and poor. Walking down the street you see many sad faces, it makes you suddenly sad either. The economic situation in Bulgaria is not good at all. and never has been. For sure, I am nobody to judge, I just dream of a better world with happy people, thatt's it .Overall, if you haven't been over here and if you haven't tried to live overhere you probably won't be able to understand what I'm trying to say.